A Year in Pohnpei

My Life as an Student Missionary in Micronesia

Sunday, April 18, 2010


"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"

How many times have you heard that saying?
Too many I would say.
But I don't agree.
Words are powerful!!

I have talked a lot about how words can really hurt someone but until you experience it yourself you'll never know how deep words can cut a person to the heart. I experienced the way words can negatively effect someone even if you only speak them casually or in passing by this past week. There were some words I've been the recipient of that have left me deeply hurt and I don't think I will ever forget them. The person speaking was one in power above me whom I greatly respect. They probably have no idea what they said or even if I heard it, but I did.

Words do hurt. That is a fact.
no riddle or cute saying will change that.

However, how many times have I done the very same thing? Said something against someone whether behind their back or to their faces that was hurtful. They probably still remember it to this day.

So I cannot hold on to those words. I can't let them leave me scared.
I've been reading the book of Proverbs for my devotionals and as I was thinking about what this individual had said I read these passages from Proverbs chapter 11:

"From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things as surely as the works of his hands rewards him. The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks insults. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." vs. 14-16, 18, 25


Becareful what you say. Hold your tongue. Who knows who is listening?
Words can hurt or heal, What will yours do today??

Thursday, April 8, 2010

A Day Without Shoes - Humble me


Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about myself. Here I was about to walk out into the cold, rainy, thundering day with no shoes on.


Here at southern today was "A Day Without Shoes." A act on the part of students all over campus to put aside their comfy shoes, boots, sandals and just have the experience that so many people around the world experience daily not having shoes to wear. Donations and support was given by many people and I was feeling pretty good that I could help support the cause. Here I was SACRIFICING my comfort of dry feet to head out into the rain without my shoes. I am making a difference right.....right?!

Then God decided to open my eyes and take that pride down a notch. I walked to convocation not thinking anything of the speaker or what I would be hearing today. I took some pictures of my friends and I with bare feet. We were all smiles like this was fun and new for us to be able to go without shoes for a whole day at school.
I found a seat with some of my girlfriends and got comfortable just to get another convo credit to my name.
But God was not finished with me yet....

The speaker got up and with a broken cambodian accent he began to speak. (Peter Pong) He seems extremely nervous and I was not sure how he would get through this talk he had prepared. He struggles to portray his introduction in incorrect english grammar. We all thought it was cute at first and giggled as he talked about himself. Then he got into his story,

As a child he survived the cambodian genocide. The murder, the blood the killing fields. I felt myself getting sick as I heard how the rebel army (Red scarves) killed and brutalized CHILDREN! Forcing them to carry weapons and take the front lines in battle against the Vietnamese. He was forced to watch it all. Not only to watch but to play the flute as they killed his friends. He was lucky enough to have a musical talent so they kept him alive so he could play for the rebel soldiers. However he was NOT exempt from the work (forcing 6-12yr olds to work from 5am - 12pm that night with almost no food) With tears running down his face he finished his life story. But It was more than the expereince he had. It was the things he said that caused me to hang my head in shame.

"I am not powerful because I have money in my pockets or many earthly things, but I am powerful because I am helping people. This is what makes me whole. To help people with all my heart makes me rich."
"We can have peace. Peace starts with me."
"You as Americans are seen as angels from the kids in Cambodia. Yet you are in worship of your malls. You move away from one mall and then next thing you find all the teens wandering a new mall. Reach outside your store walls, reach to others."
He grew up without parents, His life is filled with confusion, pain and suffering.
A big thing that hit me was when he said..."You have parents, for just that fact you should love them. I grew up without them. So many americans treat their parents like s*** (he didn't know that that was a bad word. Again he was brutally INNOCENTLY honest) BUT just in the fact you HAVE parents you are blessed!!"
WE are so blessed, us american angels to them.


There I sat. So inspired yet so humbled. Here is a man who gave all he had. I could tell his heart was laid out for us all out to see this morning. He may have not been the most eloquent speaker, with proper english or comfy terms. He was brutally innocently honest.

I thought that by my act of just not wearing shoes I was somehow changing the world. There is so much we can do for others. I'm not bashing the fact that today was not of use. It was an awesome opportunity to help and support an AMAZING cause. I just need to realize I am so blessed and there's always more I can do. Let's just say it was an inspiration. I hope it has inspired you too. You are SO blessed!! God daily opens my eyes.

He finished by playing his flute. I closed my eyes and listened. Imagining a little boy standing in the midst of dead bodies allowed to live through his music. I then looked into his soft face. Tears still staining his cheeks. How can I help him I thought? How can I, a lowly human, help the thousands of people suffering? Standing the student audience gave him an honorable standing ovation. I've stood for standing ovations before but it has never really been from my heart. I sprang to my feet instantly. He had changed me. God had changed me. Looking down at my barefeet I didn't see them as a huge sacrifice to me but a small contribution in a bigger picture. Help us Lord. We need you here. How can we help? We can. Christ can.

(He has an organization called cambodian live arts to help those masters from the genocide who were still living. He is passing down the culture lost in the genocide to the younger generation. ) He's just a man. I'm just a Southern student but he's reached out to those around him. Hes striving to help. Now how can I?

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Growing up in God


I set aside my diapers - I thought I was grown up
I got my very own bank account - I thought I was grown up
I began high school - I thought I was grown up
I received my driver's license - I thought I was grown up
I passed my golden birthday - I was sure now I was grown up
I graduated from high school - I thought I was grown up
I began my freshman year at University - I thought I was grown up
I finished my freshman year in University - I thought I was grown up
I turned 20 - I thought I was grown up
I'm finishing my SOPHOMORE year in University - Now I know, I'm still not grown up

Ever since I was little I've always been reaching towards the next "event or milestone" in my life. High school, getting my license, graduations, sports events, birthdays, university) the list goes on. I always thought that once I reached that next big thing, that was it. I would have my life together. I would be "GROWN UP". A mature adult. But every time I pass one of those milestones I see one more ahead. I see I still have so much to learn. So much to experience. I never feel fully prepared for what lies ahead. But that's where I make my mistake. I will never feel prepared on my own to face life's challenges. In the big things and the little things my life required God. In every aspect of me, there within HE should be. I will never feel like a GROWN UP, cause I'll always be growing. Same with my spiritual life. God always has something to teach me. I will ever continually be GROWING UP IN christ, spiritually. So I pray Lord will always be teaching me. Guiding me. cause I still feel like a child sometimes.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Treadmill


I cannot not run more than 7miles on a treadmill. That's even pushing it really hard!
A treadmill to me as a human seems like a hamster ball is to a hamster.
They can run with all their heart but never really go anywhere.
I mean the treadmill is so boring!! No scenery, no fresh air, no pounding pavement under your feet, nothing....
Does your life ever feel like a "treadmill"?
You're running as fast as you can go but there you are, stuck in the spot, on that treadmill as it speeds up under your exhausted feet pounding the track.


A friend asked me the other day, "so what's new?"
My response was so plain i kinda surprised myself "nothing"

NOTHING! How do days seem to go by in a blurr.
Classes go by day by day and seem so ROUTINE.
You can't even remember what you did the day before.

My schedule is taped to my wall from the beginning of this semester. I don't look at it anymore. Its so engrained in my mind I don't even take as much as a glance at it every now and again anymore. My days are routines. Schedules. Deadlines.

This is not how Christ wants us to live. Each day is a GIFT.
Such a blessing. A new day! A new page! A new opportunity!

Do you know how much you can do WITH TODAY!!
the possibilities are limitless.
Carpe Diem, and take this day for GOD.
Ask Him what he wants YOU to do TODAY!
I can only do the same!
Wake up excited:) You HAVE ANOTHER DAY.
Don't make today another "treadmill" day.


Someone needs you today.
God can use you today.
Be Totally committed today:)

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9