Frozen Moments

Have you ever just looked around at everything going on around you in a crowded room or with friends and just really looked at each and every face. Taking in their personalities, laughter, and smiles. It's like a freeze frame in movies when the main characters seem to almost freeze, their thoughts become audible and the audience is brought into their thoughts and feelings of their surroundings. I cannot even count how many times I have done that in this past week. I am on spring break with the Gym-Masters from Southern and we have had an absolute blast touring around Arizona and California, doing shows and programs for academies', high schools, and church groups. We have laughed till it hurt, cried together and simply drawn closer as a team. I seem to stop what I'm doing and just look around at all these amazing people. I watch their joys and see their unique personalities. I just think "how amazing God is for putting these people in my life!" The jokes we have, the times we've shared, the relationships. I can connect with them across the room just by a smile. It's like I'm in an out of body experience and I have separated myself from the experience and simply watch all of these people.

I can't believe that this is really my last year. Last year of being a part of this family. We truly become a family as the year progresses. I will never perform again on these mats. I will never hold Chris in a hand to hand again. I will never have the opportunity to fly with strong guys:) lol. A lot of lasts and I'm trying so hard to freeze these moments so I can hold onto them forever. I want to be able to stay in this spot for eternity. But then I think. ETERNITY. That's what we have to look forward too. No longer will I have to worry about having to say goodbye again. Goodbye to amazing people in my life, not knowing when we will see each other again. Leaving next year will be hard. Watching everyone move on with their lives back at Southern with Gymmasters and life in general will be difficult so I'm trying so hard to enjoy these people now. Let's not lie to ourselves, most student missionaries get "forgotten about" speaking in terms. One of my closest friends was gone as a student missionary last year and I can say that I did NOT forget about her and kept in touch as much as possible however things get difficult as you two are living in two VERY different worlds and going through VERY different experiences. You try to relate to one another but the people and places are so drastic. I know that no matter how many promises are thrown around people will move on with their lives and we shall live different lives next year. A growing experience for sure! and I am looking forward to the God growing I will have just not the pain aspect of it. I know I have written about pain and Good-byes before but I can say it again. I hate goodbyes. So one last time I look across this room, take in the scenery and cherish the faces for what seems to be the last time. Each and every one of them are so amazing and I will continue to thank God for the experiences and good times I could share with them and for putting them in my life:) Now I can only look forward to a time when I won't have to worry about leaving them or saying Goodbye. It will be forever and ever an amazing moment with Jesus and these peeps:)

Home

Oh how much more you appreciate home when you are forced to live so far away.
I didn't realize how much I really missed home till I find myself here right now, surronded my amazing family.
I look around the room and see the love and smiles and realize how much I miss at school.
I miss sitting down with my uncle and watching a hockey game, that the leaf are most likely going to loose,
or sitting on my grandmas lap pretending to be two again and literally squishing the air right out of her,
or playing games with the family and laughing so hard we're rolling on the floor in pain,
or driving to an old classmates house to catch up and see some long lost friends,
or seeing my baby cousin for the first time,
or laying in my old bed looking at the AWESOME yellow walls,
or hearing my parents talk in the other room while I fall asleep,
or sleeping in till 10 and going upstairs to an amazing breakfast prepared with love just for me,
or just watching my family as they talk, laugh and joke with one another over tea and cheese lol.

Yes, it's good to be home. Why do we always have to say goodbye, It's like we're always getting together just to leave again. Oh what a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see. When every tear shall be wiped away. No more goodbyes. Did I mention I hate goodbyes......well I do. But for now on this cruel, sin-filled earth we shall just part again.
For now I'll enjoy it. While it lasts and hang on till the next time I get to come home to this heaven on earth again, the place I call HOME. (temporary home:)

Th Sickness of Sin

Being sick is never fun.

It started with a head cold. Moving to my lungs it started to creep into my body. Waking up Wednesday morning it had hit my entire being like a freight train. I could barely move, for the fact that I didn't even want to move. It hurt to breathe. But school is not an option in college. No matter how you feel you must continue to go, go, go. I tried to fight it but the flu is not something that leaves ones body quickly. It is in no rush to evacuate the premise and in my case it was no different. Heading to the gymnastics gym Tues. night with my hood over my head, shoulder slumped in exhaustion from the constant battle inside me and a big pair of sweat pants i was not in the mood to hold others up or do any time or form of physical movement. My head was hot and my joints felt as if they had sand paper in them, leaving me with no energy to do anything but survive. I had not been sick like this in a very, very long time. Walking back to my dorm room, slowly and painfully I began to think, as I often do when I have alone time. This sickness had absolutely taken over my entire being. It changed my personality. I was tired and not as optimistic about life and my friends could tell. Something was wrong. Made me think of what sin does to us. Not only our physical bodies but definitely our spiritual well being. It takes us over completely causing us "aches and pains" of a spiritual battle inside of us. It changes us and people can tell. Changes us for the worst. But this too does pass. I tried to let my body fight the sickness, but was forced to give in, give in to the medication. There is no relief like that of a cough drop when your throat is on fire or your lungs are dry heaving in pain. That medicine for our spiritual is the one and only life giver, Jesus Christ. Only He can cleanse us from the inside out and relieve that sinful pain.

When you're sick you avoid certain things too. Sounds familiar to avoiding temptation of sin. I couldn't eat sugar. In fact for once in my life I revolted sugar thinking of the damage it would do to my immune system causing this awful sickness to drag on even longer. I didn't down a nutty bar even though it tasted good cause I knew the consequences would be more sickness. So why put yourself in a situation where you are forced to be tempted with sins sickness. Christ is our only hope. He is the physician, the great healer, our medicine. Good news this medicine doesn't taste horrible either like buckleys or halls, all it takes is one question. one question to have God take complete control of your life. Complete control of your defense system against the sickness of sin.

In His hands

We've all seen this picture so many times...













Hands cradling the world
Very strong, scarred and capable hands

I'm watching a youtube video and that image flashed across my screen. But this time it was different. I really took in that picture. How amazing it is that God has this world in HIS hands!?! He holds us, so what do we have to fear. As a little kid I use to sing (and maybe still sing it to myself:) the song "He's got the whole world in His hands." So incredible! AND not only is the world in His hands but look how small it seems in His mighty hands. This one picture in particular didn't show the world as being larger than God's hands but the world is small and completely encircled in his big hands. No need to fear cause these worldly problems and disasters are tiny when placed in God's hands and so are you're problems and concerns. To us they seem gigantic and too big for us to hold but for God, there is not argument that he can easily handle them and take care of us!

Not only does He hold this entire world and universe but He holds me, and YOU!
Whatever your worries and cares for today, put them into His VERY capable hands. After all He's got you and me sister in His hands! He's got you and me brother in His hands. He's got the WHOLE WORLD in His hands.

Isaiah 40:12 says Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?

A look at the scale

Had a good laugh with the gals today after abs class:

we disscussed best criteria to follow before weighing yourself for optimal result.
oh we laughed so hard:)!

-shower
-wash your face...don't want the makeup weighing you down
-brush your teeth
-take of any possible extra weight (clothes, hair pins, elastics)
-clip your toe nails
-go to the bathroom:)
-wash your hands

It was all laughs and fun but it made me realize how superficial us girls can be sometimes.
some picture of being thin is beautiful. somehow there's a cookie cutter shape we all have to fit into to make us beautiful. I have fallen into this lie too. the Lie satan shoves in our faces everyday that our personalities don't matter, WHO we are on the inside doesn't matter but rather what we look like. step out girls. stand strong. The Lord created you to be you. Let's all see the heart like Christ. Heard a song on the radio about a young womans' heart of gold. So why not look for those....those hearts of gold. They are the real beautiful things. The real beauty within:)

Rubbing off

Do you ever find yourself taking on someone else's habits/mannerisms after you've hung out with them for a while?
Whether it be a friend or aquantence, you seem to take on their attitude, or sayings.

I know that sometimes how I talk/react to a person depends first on how they interact with me. If a person is warm and welcoming I find myself opening up and being friendly back. I would hope that that is not true if a person is cold to me and that I would in turn be cold back but they can just take more effort on my part and be harder to hang out with comfortably. I wouldn't be myself around them as with those I feel comfortable with.

For example I will act a certain way with certain people, NOT saying that I change who I AM but rather what I do/act based on what I know about that person. Two of my roommates over the years have been those specific people. At summer camp this year I "roomed" with the girls director, Chiara Stellacci for a while and I found myself talking like her sometimes or acting like her after hanging out for a while. Her caring and charismatic personality was "wearing off" on me in a positive way. I found myself trying to be more caring and accepting of others because that is the way SHE is. And the occassional expressions she would use would often escape my own mouth without me even realizing it sometimes.

Another such person is my current roommate here at Southern, Nicole Ley. She's a person whose positive influence is "rubbing off" on me. If you don't know her, I HIGHLY recommend that you get to know her! She has a huge heart and a high-energy spirit!! She is so much fun and I find myself wanting to be a happier person when I'm around her. When she talks there is a sparkle in her eyes like a joy for life, and she listens when you talk to her with all her attention. I strive to be like these two amazing women of God and I feel like I'm a better person for knowing them and having them in my life. I hope that never changes and our friendships don't die. My mannerisms are still my own personality they are just made better around these people.

Speaking of mannerisms, makes me think of families. Don't you find yourself in a situation and someone notices how much you sound like your mother or father or you act like your brother or sister?. Growing up in my home, many positive solid foundations were laid for my life. I would watch my parents and learn from what they did. I began to act like them and speak like them (and I still do:). So in a sense they've worn off on me:)! I often get the remark that I laugh JUST LIKE my mom and smile like my dad. When I'm being silly or playing around I sometimes act like my brother. I've taken their positive examples and strive to always work harder and do better because of their influence on me.

So the argument definetly does stand that whoever you choose to hang around with, will affect who you are. They will "rub off" on you whether you see it happening or not. Are you hanging around with friends who will make you want to strive to be a better, happier, more christ-like, loving, accepting, and joyful person? Or are you taking on their negative traits? Who we spend time with affects the people we become. SO spending time with Christ can only mean ONE thing. We become more like Him. That's definetly a positive relationship! the more time you spend with HIM the more his character will "rubb off" onto you!! That's awesome. Want to become a more Christ-like person? Hang out with Chirst. you can't go wrong there!

Mountains & Goodness

God is Good, All the Time
All the Time, God is Good

This seems to be one of my maman's favorite sayings. I love it!
It's so true!
This past week I had many struggles, breakdowns, desperate prayers, alone time and tears. I thought I God had forgotten me. But this weekend reminded me of the fact HE will never forget His children. Even in the darkest times when I couldn't hear anything but my fearful thoughts He was right there with me. And he reminded me of that by surrounding me with AMAZING friends. I don't know what I would do without them. And even above that, my parents. They are so supportive and just talking to them makes my crazy world all make sense. I can't thank God enough for my family and Friends. Here at school they take time to pick me up off my butt, talk to me, and just sit with me while I cry it all out. My roommate (Nicole Ley) has been with me every step of this terrible week. She has put up with my ranting and raving, my indecision, my tears, my anger, my absolute immaturity. And then those who take time to throw chocolate at me when I'm just face down on the floor completely overwhelmed:) (Julie Landess and Beth Corn)
God gave me signs of throughout this entire weekend. An amazing text of encouragement from my brother, a skype time to talk with my maman cause she knows exactly what to say to help me through what I'm going through, and a relaxing time with friends sabbath afternoon. oh yes and then a breakfast date with my roomie this morning.
So now I'm off to the library to DO MY MOUNTAIN OF HOMEWORK. BUT God says we can MOVE MOUNTAINS with the faith of a mustard seed. So here I go, gunna move that mountain:)

Keep your chin up, You'll get through whatever you're going through. Hang in there, more importantly Hang on to God. He won't let you go, so don't let go of Him.